The pitfalls of a seasonal get-together

In theory, it’s a great idea. Invite all stakeholders to get together and celebrate. What can possibly go wrong?

Of course, you have to lay a good foundation. Who could imagine going ahead without a thorough stakeholder mapping exercise? There are, after all, those with a considerable interest in having a party – those for whom it is the highlight of an uneventful year, and those who stake everything on their annual rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody at the karaoke phase of proceedings. Then you have to consider that some of our guests may have more influence than others. Shame they include the biggest bore and the biggest show-off on the planet. Interesting when you do this exercise, you find that some of the most seldom heard and totally uninfluential, are often those for whom the party is the most important event of the year!

Trouble is, it needs to be accessible. In an age of austerity, the subsidy is limited, but the influential and prosperous demand a fancy venue and an extravagant event. Your wider public expects a newsworthy occasion with glossy documentation. Your fair-weather friends and acquaintances insist it is open to everyone. How do you please everybody?

Unless you’re careful, the party attracts the hard-to-avoid rather than the hard-to-hear. And who could predict that two of our most argumentative colleagues with 100% opposite views on BREXIT sat next to each other? Or that the normally abstemious equality officer drank too much and told everyone what he thought of everybody else. Oh dear!  Someone said that the trouble with parties is that once a year is insufficient. One needs continuous engagement – not just an artificial one-off when people pretend there’s something to celebrate. It’s great to bring stakeholders together, they claim. But it only shows how much they disagree. Might it be better to keep them apart?

So, let’s hold a ball instead. We may not all have the potential for Strictly Come Dancing, but it’s an opportunity for individuals to tell a story, to relate to a fellow-dancer and seek to entertain. If life is enriched when the extroverts make an exhibition of themselves, the rest can watch in admiration and the knowledge that taking part is often more important than winning.

So, appropriately, and for those of a certain age, in the style of I’m sorry I haven’t a clue, (previously I’m sorry I’ll read that again) please welcome the late arrivals at the Consultation Ball.

• Here comes Lord and Lady Icipation, and their daughter, Pat …icipation
• There’s Mr and Mrs Versity from West Wales and their son, Dai …Versity
• Next is the notorious Connie Sultation and her anonymous Man-date
• ..closely followed Mr and Mrs Liberation and their daughter, Dee …Liberation
• On her own, but always a experienced as a speed-dater – Ann Alysis
• Now please welcome Lord Gitimate of Expectation and his heir Lee, Gitimate Expectation
• Who, as usual is often accompanied by his Thai cousin Wirat TermiNation and his son, Pridi Termination
• Fresh from winning the Award for the most imaginative Deliberative method of the Year, here is Sam Owen Circle
• Welcome Mr and Mrs Izensjury, and their son, Sid … Izensjury
• Finally, here come the Ticks of Consultation, and their daughter Polly …Ticks of Consultation

THE Consultation Institute wishes its members and supporters seasonal greetings and hopes for a Happy New Year.

And if you wonder what amusement we offered in previous years, click on the following:

2017 – Father Christmas Accused of a Sham Consultation

2016 – How Christmas could so easily have been cancelled

2015 – Consultation as pantomime – It’s the season to reflect on the similarities between consultation and a good old-fashioned Pantomime!

This is the 343^rd  Tuesday Topic; a full list of subjects covered is available for Institute members and is a valuable resource covering so many aspects of consultation and engagement.